What's In Your Head? Zombie, Zombie....

Funny how the Cranberries fit at a time like this. A time like this being Six AM after having already slept two hours and being unable to get back to sleep.

Once again, I fail at blogging, oh well. I can't help it if I've been working 40+hours every week on top of attempting to have a life. C'est la vie.

Hmm...what's new with me...

Put up a new ceiling and recessed lights as a surprise birthday present for my mom, who knew I was so handy?

AFI isn't touring right now...*Sad Face*

Going to see Lady Gaga at the United Center in Chicago in February... *Super-Happy Face*

I FINALLY finished the lightning photos, they're really not that bad for a first attempt, should be better when storm season rolls around next year and I have a 5D so that I can actually see what I'm doing.

Ferrari is clawing back at the F1 title...*Super-Happy Face again*

I did some modeling a while back, worked out pretty well, but have'nt been able to work out due to wisdom tooth issues (I know its a lame excuse, but its the only one I got) so that's on the back burner.

OH STAR WARS 3D in 2011! Thats an *EPIC SUPER-HAPPY FACE*

Ok I'm going to go to bed again, well attempt to, before I make myself look even more lame.

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News

So not much going on here. Still on work-induced Autopilot.

Still can't read people.

Still don't care.

Still don't have the fiat.

Still wondering what to do with my life.

In other news, went out and did some photography of some epic lightning going on around here. Hopefully get the pics developed and see what I got next week!

So anyone out there know what to do when someone apologizes to you, you forgive them, start to make endroads on building a friendship again, and then their actions make you believe the apology wasn't real/sincere in the first place? Doesn't that call into question every step you've made since then?

Do I ask them about the action (or inaction) that makes the apology seem insincere?

How do you do that without sounding like your picking a fight or looking to be a drama queen?

It's damn confusing, and a little advice would be good.
Whatever I could do to make things work again I would, if thats any like inkling as to how devoted I am to those I consider friends.

I've been considering shipwrecking myself on a deserted island in the tropics and live out the rest of my days in quiet seclusion....anyone want to join? This looks about right:

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I'm so blah

That's pretty self explanatory. Work has me on autopilot. It's lame.

I need a vacation.

I miss the ocean.

Anyone up for a roadtrip?

By the way here is some of the pics of Washington DC I finally finished.

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April Showers

Wisdom upon us all! haha weren't expecting that were you?

Well lots of changes in the past few weeks. New job, new outlook, new ideas, new joys and still more painful realizations. Such is life.

I feel like a completely different person then I was last year. Even three months ago. I've cut out drama from my life. Life is too short, be happy, and don't let other people stop you. Easier said then done. Especially when the world would seem determined to drain you of any light you had inside and then bury it along with the rest of the shattered hopes and dreams of humanity. But FTW. And that acronym is "not for the win".

It seems that even though I've cut out drama, people seem determined to thrust it upon me. But why make an issue of it? That would only make things worse. Live and learn. If you hurt someone, apologize, and get closer so it doesn't happen again. If you've been hurt, which all of us have, then forgive and forget. This is all easier said then done, but if you truly care about someone, even on a friend level, it will be worth it in the end, you'll be closer and better for it.

Life is too short to go on not liking people, its easier to just take a deep breath and forget about the past. If they are determined to make an issue of it, that is their problem, and they'll be the ones suffering from lost time, lost respect, and loss of...muchness. (Had to throw in an Alice in Wonderland quote)

Regardless I thank all of you who have been helping me through these past two years. There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Take me by the hand and pull me out of the shadow for once and for all, and one day I will do the same for another.

Also, Wise sayings by Archbishop Fulton Sheen. He was a smart fella and these sum up about all of the things I've said in much better and quipper ways.

All our anxieties relate to time. ... The major problems of psychiatry revolve around an analysis of the despair, pessimism, melancholy, and complexes that are the inheritances of what has been or with the fears, anxieties, worries, that are the imaginings of what will be.

Some will not look on suffering because it creates responsibility.

A lover always works better when the beloved is with him.

Too many people get credit for being good, when they are only being passive. They are too often praised for being broadminded when they are so broadminded they can never make up their minds about anything.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. (ok that was just because I laughed at it)

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery

Love does not mean to have and to own and to possess. It means to be had and to be owned and to be possessed

LOVE is primarily in the will, not in the emotions or the glands.

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In DC

So expect some good pics (hopefully) within the next few weeks. Unfortunately I'm not staying as long as I had previously thought, so photo ops are limited. Iffy weather doesn't help either.

Anyway, thought of some motivational stuff on the drive here. Cheesey but it helps me feel better :)

You have to go through the deepest, darkest forest to get to the tallest tree

The highest mountain is always the hardest to climb, and always next to t he deepest valley, but the descent makes you smarter, the climb makes you stronger, and the view on top is always better.

Cheesey I know, but nothing worth having is ever easy and almost always comes with a long drawn out fight.

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Like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette..

Two posts in one month?! ITS THE APOCALYPSE! (I'd click that if I were you, it is a pretty awesome picture.)

Anyway I'm back on the job market. Again. It's really a bummer, I liked my job at Hobby Lobby pretty well with a few minor exceptions. Oh well, on to bigger and better things I suppose.

I have'nt done a movie review in a while, so I figured why not?

AVATAR 3D

Ok...Well I would like to preface this by saying I did like the movie.

It was over-hyped.

There I said it, it is out in the open. But when people tell me it will be my new favorite movie, with skepticism I go in expecting Return of the Jedi, or at least the Dark Knight. So anything that isn't up to that standard falls short in living up to expectation.

Regardless. The graphics were incredible, the floating mountains were just awesome. I give the director, producers, and writers the most credit possible for taking this incredible vision and putting it to celluloid. Most movies give you a city to be a part of, James Cameron gives you an entire planet. A very pretty planet, I couldn't help but think I'd like to have some of those glowing plants around.

The story line was pretty good overall, there were some moments that made me uncomfortable a bit...like when Jake Sully first gets his avatar, or the Nav'i sex scene......

Acting was pretty good. I'm thinking we'll be seeing alot more of Sam Worthington (Jake Sully) in the future. My favorite was still Sigourney Weaver. She provided some comic relief and I feel was the best actor present.

For some reason I had trouble identifying with the characters at first. I don't really know why, usually thats pretty easy to accomplish for me. Also, I could have done without the rampant political agenda permeating the background of the movie. One or two nods is fine, but the whole thing was charged with it.

On the whole, I give Avatar a solid B+. I wouldn't say best movie of 2009. I think that still goes to UP.

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Valentines Day = EPIC FAIL

As usual it has been far too long.

So those who follow this, microscopic in number though they may be, would probably like to know where I've been the past.......6months. Well, I finally started working again. Back at Hobby Lobby here in Normal. Not particularly fun, but hey it's money.

Been doing some more photography, the best ones have come out of Chicago thus far, including the pictures of the riverfront and of the Chicago Theater.

I recently went up and did some people shots and I'm quite interested to see how those come out. One of the main things I hate about Chicago (and there are many) was reaffirmed yesterday. It's just too darn cold.

In more personal news, I've been working out alot, and maybe in a month or two, might be on the other side of the camera, I'd just like to see how it turns out and where it goes. Who knows.

Btw, I hate Valentines Day and if anyone wishes me a happy one again I will snap.

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